Long time since I was last here.

Tomorrow is the start of MCTs. I can't believe I was just saying last year how happy I am to take MCTs. Now, it's here. Although, I am still happy that I can take MCTs, it's become a lil dreadful because I don't think I am prepared enough. Honestly, TJ, 1 week ain't enough.

I'm here because I want to record a particular event.

Just a while ago, my brother threw ice onto my maid while she was sleeping. Naturally, I complained to my mom about his behaviour, in the presence of my dad.

I said: "Mummy, Jiahao threw ice on Auntie while she was sleeping."

Mom: "Huh why did he do that?"

I: "How do I know. You go ask your son lah."

Then my dad without hesitating, just said: "You know by saying 'your son', you are trying to shrug responsibility of his behaviour to us. You think the way he behaves has nothing to do with you."

Not once did he mention about the fact that my brother was so disobedient and rude to my maid and also that my brother unbashly admitted to doing so. Can't he see a huge problem out of a small one? I do. Instead, he rather corrects my behaviour for insinuating that his behaviour is their fault.

Then he asked me: "Bad things he do, you say "your son", when he does good things, are you going to say "your son"?"

I said "Yes." confidently.

I don't want any recognition like how he does when I perform well in school or when I got into TJ. He tells his friends like it's like effort and hard work that I have such achievements. My foot.

Note to self: He used the F word, like "F- off" to my mother." Like seriously, I have zero respect for him. And today was their wedding anniversary. Actually, what wedding anniversary do they have to talk about when their already divorced (shall not elaborate further). Seriously the most epic thing.

Okay, that's about it with my dad.

~~~

You suddenly called me today which caught me off guard and I didn't know how to react. My whole mind went blank the moment you said "hello". When I put down the phone, I swear my heart felt like it was going to explode. This new excitement and hope, I have not felt in the longest time, made me have butterflies in my stomach. I've told myself that you're not going to be the one, but, you're making me re-consider that now.

Who knows, these feelings now may end up just like the rest, but nonetheless, I'm keeping my options open.