Well, it has come to a phase where everything is peaceful and calm. Where nothing seemed to ever happened. The fact is that, it has. And no matter how hard I try to convince myself that it's alright, I can't. Long ago deep in my heart, I've already known the truth, that there won't be reciprocality, but reality just doesn't seem to hit me. I can feel upset and angry all I want, but I know nothing's gonna change. Whether the matter turns out alright or not, I have come to realised how much tolerance and patience I have put in and devoted. Everything happens for a reason and it is indeed a learning experience.

I believe its a matter of what kind of a friend you are and of course, you would expect the other person to be that same kind of friend you were to him/her. Compromises can be made, but too many accumulated times would snowball and we would be buried too far deep under to pull us all out. We all have 24 hours a day, and who we spend each second with, is our choice. Who we spend time texting with, is our choice. Being sensitive to many things is one thing, being insensitive to even the most basic of things is another thing. Has it ever occurred to you how hurt anyone would feel if your friend read a post of the intentions of herself she never even knew about? I suggest, before writing anything, spare a single thought for your friend, sparing her from all the hurt and disappointment. Be responsible for what you've said and written.

Maybe one hit wasn't enough, and now I need two hits to make me realise certain things. Becoming numb to everything is slowly becoming a habit. There's really nothing left for me to say, with everything decided by you. Even the type of person I didn't know I am is determined by you and your writing. Ohwell.

With Thursday to come tomorrow, half of the September holidays has already passed by. Studies wise, still considered on track(?). Trying my best to put my head into it without distractions. Greena's really been a good buddy for studying and having heart to heart talks. Somehow she can really understand how I feel and makes me feel cared for (for once). She's someone who listens to everything I have to say and doesn't judge me just like how I don't judge her. Guess that's why we've been great friends for these 4 years, where time passed so silently and quickly.

Its always good to thank your friends that you treasure, after all, I learnt this from someone so wise.

I've been twisting and turning in a space that's too small
I've been drawing the line and watching it fall
You've been closing me in , closing the space in my heart
Watching us fading and watching it all fall apart

You pulled me under so I had to give in
Such a beautiful mess that's breaking my skin
Well I'll hide all the bruises; I'll hide all the damage that's done
But I show how I'm feeling until all the feeling has gone

Why I can't explain why it's not enough
Cause I gave it all to you
And if you leave me now
Oh just leave me now
It's the better thing to do
It's time to surrender
It's been too long pretending
There's no use in trying
When the pieces don't fit anymore
The pieces don't fit anymore

You pulled me under so I had to give in
Such a beautiful mess that's breaking my skin
Well I'll hide all the bruises; I'll hide all the damage that's done
But I show how I'm feeling until all the feeling has gone

I don't know why

Well I can't explain why it's not enough
Cause I gave it all to you
And if you leave me now
Oh just leave me now
It's the better thing to do
It's time to surrender
It's been too long pretending
There's no use in trying
When the pieces don't fit anymore
The pieces don't fit anymore

Oh, don't misunderstand how I feel
Cause I've tried, yes I've tried
Still I don't know why
No I don't know why

"I said I would never give up, that is, if you tried. Now I realise, trying is not good enough."

This is one experience I will never forget.

This will be my last night spending time sorting out this issue in my head and my last time posting anything about this matter. I guess for people who don't really care about my feelings and whether I'll get hurt, shouldn't be worth my time anymore. It has never been in my hands anyway. Solutions? I'll leave that up to you. If you feel no need for anything to be apologised for and sorted out, so be it.

Looking ahead, promos, you'll be my last leap of faith for this year. Focus is all I need, and now is certainly not the right time to get distracted.