Aimlessly Searching;

My f-ed up sister

2012-01-12T19:32:00.006+08:00

My f-ed up sister who just thinks she's too old to listen to anyone.
Does not have basic manners. (table, etc)
Has no respect for anyone older than her.

Sits at her desk all day long act hard working only

More than half the time on her iPhone (twitter, FB, etc)

Sends almost 3k smses in a month. (always say she section leader, blah, blah, need send a lot of smses. Calculate yourself and you know what bullshit she talks about)

Thinks she studies in Chung Cheng, she's "the most tired in the house", she has the right to sleep everywhere she wants after school without showering (just not her own bed)

Doesn't do well in school, doesn't give a shit.

Farts everywhere and she doesn't give a shit.

Complains about how the family doesn't care about her at all. (she doesn't bother talking to anyone, she expects people to talk to her.)

In front of her friends act like servant (literally), at home selfish like some bitch.

I'm sick, can't move off from bed & I ask her help me take tissue? She complains and is unhappy. In school & church? Takes drinks for friends automatically, now her friends auto treat her like maid, drop things no need ask, she auto pick up. (I saw with my own eyes.)

Councillor my ass, she needs counseling. (& my dad thinks it's some glamourous job like in the past)

Only watches TV drama all day (loves all the Taiwanese Ahma shows, esp Ai.)

Once the TV is on, she's always there, no self discipline.

Think her legs long always sit cross legged (even at dinner tables. Always give same excuse, cold. IDC.)

Thinks anyone skinnier than her is fat. (bitch)

Wants to study at a good school, but doesn't study (as I said, act hardworking only)

Says "Sweet dreams, see you tmr! :))" to guy friends on FB chat, & asks me what's wrong with that.

To her friends: If you think you know her very well, THINK AGAIN.

Hoi Hoi 2012

2012-01-12T16:28:00.002+08:00

Hello 2012.

It's the 3rd day since the official school timetable of J2 started.

Best part: I fell sick on the 2nd day, and went home at 12.30pm after almost fainting due to immense pain in my throat. -.- Didn't go to school the next day. Had mc for today, but still went to school cause I really can't afford to miss lessons.

Unlike the me last year, forever skipping lessons and lectures, I suddenly feel the urgency to attend all tutorials & lectures (except Math), and in fact, the feeling of being scared, which hasn't been something I experience unless nearing exams. And goodness me, it's only the start of the first week! :O There's been a PC to do, Physics test tomorrow, Richard essay on Monday, and not even mentioning the truckload of holiday homework and Econs Project which are due this week/next week.

Furthermore, I have tuition on Wednesdays, Saturdays & Sundays, which of course includes homework (which reminds me, I have a micro econs essay due this Sunday). I'm not saying that I dislike tuition, in fact, I love it! I love how it keeps me busy and keeps me knowing that I don't have the whole day to spend watching dramas & variety shows, and rather that I have to get some work done asap.

And well, my job as the Lit rep is done. :) Oh, and my new H1 Physics class. Today is the first tutorial, and I can actually feel the competitiveness rising between the ex-H2 students. I mean come on la, you just got S/U for Promos and here you are bragging all your knowledge about H1 stuff. At least I got a D for H1. o.o Speaking about the test tmr, if I have the time, I'll study for it. I actually feel the need (pride) of getting at least top 50% in my class, now that I actually have one. I love my new tutor Mr N., he's waaayyyy better than Mr I. by a million miles. He slows down for the H1 students, and make sure we understand, and goes through it again and again if we don't. I'm glad I take H1. :)

And to the new H1 Physics TA students (although you'll never read this), you shouldn't even feel a tad ashamed of being in H1. I tell you, this is the best choice you've ever made. Maybe not the best subject to take H1 in, but way better than taking 4H2s. No point getting C/D for H2 at the A levels, when you have the chance to score an A in a subject you suck in. What a great choice. Really, there NOTHING to be ashamed of. Just do your best that's all! :)

See! It's only the 3rd day of school and I can already type so much. o.o I really hope and I know that I will be able to sustain throughout this year, for if my 1993 friends could, I can too. That's my only motivation actually. And of course, I know that the Lord will always be behind me in no matter what I face, His arms right beside me whenever I feel tired, His attention whenever I feel lonely.

"You wil keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast because they trust in you." - Isaiah 26:3

Alrighty, time to put my head into studying & byebye MacbookPro. See you later when I've done a significant amount of work. :)

You get some right, some wrong.

2011-10-30T01:07:00.003+08:00

Okay been watching too many movies these two days. So recently I watched:

In Time

3 Musketeers

Being retarded and lame reviewing the movie, but shall do a short and brief one for In Time.

After watching the movie, you might actually realize that the situation in the movie actually mirrors our world's current food distribution patterns. The countries that produce the most food somehow are the poorest, whereas the rest of the world who plans this whole income distribution shit gets all the money and are rich. Don't know why, but it somehow intrigued me. Can everyone in the world one day have the same amount of money and food? I don't think so. With equality comes the reason to not work hard. Why work hard when everybody will be equal regardless of the effort and hard work he puts in. Okay, sounding a lil philosophical here. Haha.

And yes, my pretty pretty SNSD made their comeback! :D

GIRLS BRING THE BOYS OUT!

One of my personal favorite live performance: (partially cause they're all wearing Adidas)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9tXk2Yoieo8&feature=related

They've improved so much, really.

Hyoyeon! :D

On a second note, school's been a bore. Like a REAL bore, with no aim in studying. I mean, I am studying, just that with not so much determination. Will be working for my mom during the OP period, earning money! :) And OH YES.

I convinced my dad to let me stay in a hostel in Uni!

Okay, although only for a year. Better than nothing. Finally, I can have the experience of staying away from my parents. YAY. But although I need to pay partially for the hostel fees myself. Hmm. Guess I've got to start earning now! Never too late to start earning money. :)

Give thanks to the Lord

2011-10-18T22:03:00.012+08:00

Okay, so promos is over! :D Like long ago actually. Just that I've been to lazy to blog. To be exact, even my grades came out! :)

Check it out man! :) Okay I've improved really quite a lot from last year!
For comparison:

AND FYEAH I AM PROMOTING TO JC2!

I am really happy with my results, although, I really need to improve for my Lit. Shall work on it esp. analysis, during this holidays. And someone please congratulate me, CAUSE I GOT AN A FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER IN TJC! :D And I am 2nd for Physics now! No longer last! :D

For all the results, I give glory to God, my Lord and saviour, for He is the One who sustained me through this entire year of emotional struggles. The good results this time is not by my efforts, but God's grace and mercy.

For the next coming year, I am actually excited to take MCTs, for finally I can do so! :) I will surely treasure 2012 and will continue my hard work!

And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from His glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus. - Phillipians 4:19

The Last Goodbye

2011-09-20T23:16:00.004+08:00

Counting down to the end of the Promos. As usual I don't have any plans for the period after the holidays. Come to think of it I don't even have any plans for my birthday this year. I think I have chosen to forget about it. Argh study break. So ironic. Never mind. Remembering 2010, appreciated it so much so much. But it's okay this year, since everyone's having A's. Shall spend my birthday at Macs, studying. :/ How sad and pathetic my life this year is. But seeing the J2s next year will be worse.

Shall wake up early tmr and hitch a ride from my mom to school. She's going overseas tmr, am gonna miss her, despite being only a few days. :/I guess you really only feel the absence of the person when she/he is gone.

I am going to study hard hard tmr. I think more than half the class is going to pon school tmr since there is almost no point going on Weds. For me, I only have GP, Math, and Civics, which are all useless lessons. However, I'll never know as 21/11 is not the 21/11 before JCTs. Who knows? We might have perfect attendance tmr despite everyone saying they're not going tmr. Hmmm.

I really am fighting this battle alone this year. Don't want to feel so, but it is so darn obvious now. I need the emotional and psychological support. At least for JCTs, I had the J2s supporting me and encouraging me, but I know I can't be selfish and blame them. I know the stress they are going through and I certainty don't want to be adding to the high stress level. Like hello, I'm about to take an exam that I failed last year. Ohwell, I guess I've got to brace myself and step into the impending war ahead.

If you hear this on the radio

Then we've already said our last goodbye.

I won't be there when you get home.

By now there's someone else that hears you cry.

I didn't want to lose you,

Leave you with a broken heart.

But wherever we are, we're miles apart.

18th Birthday Celebration

2011-09-18T20:57:00.002+08:00

Celebrated my birthday with my family yesterday! It is 2 weeks before my actual birthday but it's okay, cause its the only week where my whole immediate family is free! I celebrated my birthday with my grandma <3 who is 69 years old this year! :O It's a privilege to celebrate my birthday together with her. :') She's done so much for me, and given me immense support throughout the 18 years of my life. She is really the most selfless woman I have ever met, constantly thinking for other people. The best thing is that she is a child of God, saved last year! Even baptised! How cool is that! :) I truly thank God for accepting her and bringing her into His kingdom.

Well, it's barely a week and a few days before Promos. I'll just have to try my hardest to finish studying everything + revision. :) I know that with the support everybody is giving me, I'll be able to do it. On the first day of study break, it's my birthday. -.- Haha I've come to accept it already, I mean, at least it's a holiday! I really want to thank God for bringing me through 18 years of my life, going through ups and downs with me and always 24/7 being there for me. :') As the 18th year of my life unfolds, I know it'll not be easy, but it'll definitely be fulfilling. :)

Calculate the uncertainty.

2011-09-13T01:34:00.003+08:00

Got back my Math test today. Surprisingly, I passed with not bad marks! :) (Thank God for providing) Remembering the treat you wanted to give me haha. I would have been able to redeem it, but ohwell it's alright.

Helped out at Teenage Big Day Out for my mom yesterday. The event was super long, was there from 10am-10pm :O It was a really enriching experience overall as I managed to try out being a stage manager cue-ing groups to go stage when it was their turn to perform, and also watched the K-pop Dance Battle (which I sadly missed last year). Apparently there's a dispute between the Cosplayers and the K-pop dance teams, with the cosplayers flaming Teenage on their FB wall. And my mom is super stressed out, while her team is thinking of a solution to appease the cosplayers. I've been reading forums to find out exactly what is happening, and I've managed to know what exactly are the complaints about. Beneath the rants and vulgarities, I will definitely feedback to Teenage and hopefully next year no more such complaints will happen. But somehow I feel it is true that J-pop and K-pop competitions should not be on the same day. Conflicting interests. I hope this matter will resolve soon! :X

Today WF wanted to see Jiaen & I, which made us so fearful. I predict it is because we didn't attend her makeup lesson during the Sept Hols. Ohwell, I was having stomach flu so what was I supposed to do. Nevermind will explain to her tomorrow, hope everything will be fine. :X

Okay counting down, 15 days to promos. I am seriously very unprepared at the moment, especially for Lit & Physics. I really can't afford to screw up this time. I really can't.

Stereo Love

2011-09-10T01:10:00.005+08:00

Did Lit presentation meetup today. Am really struggling with Lit, especially Richard III. I hope I'll get a D at least for Promos, but I'm clueless as to how to do so as I don't even know how to study for Lit. :/ Haven't done any sort of annotation to my book as I'm not sure how. :(

Today I met G to study again. Quite unproductive though. :( Felt really tired and drained from the previous days of studying. This whole September holidays, I didn't even go out once to shop, etc. Only "fun" thing I did was watch Final Destination 5 with my parents, which was a horrible and disgusting movie that did not make any sense, which was a total waste of my time.

Tmr's Shinee Concert, and I've got tickets yet I can't go. >( Wanted to give someone the tickets but decided not to in the end. :( *Awkward*

Just found out that Grad Night is on 8th Dec, and guess what? I'm flying to Hongkong on the 9th, 1.30AM. -.- Which means I can't stay for Grad Night and have to leave before 11pm. :( No phototaking fun for me I guess. Disappointed but still glad my parents somehow didn't book the holiday on the 8th. Thank God. :) And ohno, I really don't have the mood to look for a dress to wear, and think of what hairstyle to use, blah blah. Ohwell. When the time comes, then I'll think about it.

I am a busygirl93.

2011-09-08T02:20:00.008+08:00

Things to do today:

AP/GP
Sigma Notation
Binomial Theorem
Econs Tuition Essays
Plan meetup with Val & Greena
Plan meetup with Glen

No more distractions Jiaxin! No more deviating when studying!

No point thinking so much! Promos is the most important thing now.

People don't want help you willingly, you help yourself!

I have successfully become nonchalant and indifferent, if that's what you hope.

Pieces don't fit anymore

2011-09-08T01:24:00.007+08:00

Well, it has come to a phase where everything is peaceful and calm. Where nothing seemed to ever happened. The fact is that, it has. And no matter how hard I try to convince myself that it's alright, I can't. Long ago deep in my heart, I've already known the truth, that there won't be reciprocality, but reality just doesn't seem to hit me. I can feel upset and angry all I want, but I know nothing's gonna change. Whether the matter turns out alright or not, I have come to realised how much tolerance and patience I have put in and devoted. Everything happens for a reason and it is indeed a learning experience.

I believe its a matter of what kind of a friend you are and of course, you would expect the other person to be that same kind of friend you were to him/her. Compromises can be made, but too many accumulated times would snowball and we would be buried too far deep under to pull us all out. We all have 24 hours a day, and who we spend each second with, is our choice. Who we spend time texting with, is our choice. Being sensitive to many things is one thing, being insensitive to even the most basic of things is another thing. Has it ever occurred to you how hurt anyone would feel if your friend read a post of the intentions of herself she never even knew about? I suggest, before writing anything, spare a single thought for your friend, sparing her from all the hurt and disappointment. Be responsible for what you've said and written.

Maybe one hit wasn't enough, and now I need two hits to make me realise certain things. Becoming numb to everything is slowly becoming a habit. There's really nothing left for me to say, with everything decided by you. Even the type of person I didn't know I am is determined by you and your writing. Ohwell.

With Thursday to come tomorrow, half of the September holidays has already passed by. Studies wise, still considered on track(?). Trying my best to put my head into it without distractions. Greena's really been a good buddy for studying and having heart to heart talks. Somehow she can really understand how I feel and makes me feel cared for (for once). She's someone who listens to everything I have to say and doesn't judge me just like how I don't judge her. Guess that's why we've been great friends for these 4 years, where time passed so silently and quickly.

Greena Ng Xin Yi, if you ever read this, just wanna let you know that I treasure you a whole lot as a friend, a great friend, for all the times you've been so understanding when others couldn't, for always giving me your most sincere and honest opinions that opened my eyes to so many different perspectives.

Its always good to thank your friends that you treasure, after all, I learnt this from someone so wise.

I've been twisting and turning in a space that's too small
I've been drawing the line and watching it fall
You've been closing me in , closing the space in my heart
Watching us fading and watching it all fall apart

You pulled me under so I had to give in
Such a beautiful mess that's breaking my skin
Well I'll hide all the bruises; I'll hide all the damage that's done
But I show how I'm feeling until all the feeling has gone

Why I can't explain why it's not enough
Cause I gave it all to you
And if you leave me now
Oh just leave me now
It's the better thing to do
It's time to surrender
It's been too long pretending
There's no use in trying
When the pieces don't fit anymore
The pieces don't fit anymore

You pulled me under so I had to give in
Such a beautiful mess that's breaking my skin
Well I'll hide all the bruises; I'll hide all the damage that's done
But I show how I'm feeling until all the feeling has gone

I don't know why

Well I can't explain why it's not enough
Cause I gave it all to you
And if you leave me now
Oh just leave me now
It's the better thing to do
It's time to surrender
It's been too long pretending
There's no use in trying
When the pieces don't fit anymore
The pieces don't fit anymore

Oh, don't misunderstand how I feel
Cause I've tried, yes I've tried
Still I don't know why
No I don't know why

"I said I would never give up, that is, if you tried. Now I realise, trying is not good enough."

This is one experience I will never forget.

This will be my last night spending time sorting out this issue in my head and my last time posting anything about this matter. I guess for people who don't really care about my feelings and whether I'll get hurt, shouldn't be worth my time anymore. It has never been in my hands anyway. Solutions? I'll leave that up to you. If you feel no need for anything to be apologised for and sorted out, so be it.

Looking ahead, promos, you'll be my last leap of faith for this year. Focus is all I need, and now is certainly not the right time to get distracted.

2011-09-06T23:29:00.002+08:00

Never thought I'd come back here to blog. But I have.

It's 2011, September 2011. JCTs long over, with promos in 21 days. 9 months not being in J2, being in an entirely alien cohort. Well, everyone's been really accomodating and welcoming, which I really appreciate.

With space comes distance, becoming seemingly more obvious. With certain people, our ties have strengthen where absence has made the heart grow fonder. However with others, I guess not. It is only through such times that I really can see who are truest to me and our friendship. Sadly to say, the people I expected to have our friendships last no matter what, now even saying hi has become awkward. New friends have come in, but can never take up the empty space in my heart.

4 years, and finally I 0can conclude that my heart has never changed. Yeah like what Greena says, I probably know I will never stand a chance, but I will be forever standing behind you, cheering you on in the background. <3

My spiritual life has indeed grown. Really looking forward to Camp Crux at the end of the year.

Last and most important thing, this year it'll be different. :)

zz

2010-06-25T02:15:00.001+08:00

Wow JCTs are in like 4 days and here I am blogging. Wow, I am so proud of myself for slacking so much. Argh, zz. I better not fail.

Jiaxin you are not going to fail even though you didn't study that hard as you wanted yourself to.

But with the help of Jesus Christ you are going to do so.

Overcome all distractions for the next 3 days, and I'm sure you can do it.

Wow my own self motivational speech. How 'motivational' huh.

With studying in focus, I have no time to think of things I don't to think of which is very good. Keep it up Jiaxin! :)

Hiatus and updates

2010-05-25T18:44:00.003+08:00

Gaolaoshi's farewell was on Saturday, and yes I guess all of us really enjoyed ourselves and was pretty touched by gaolaoshi's powerpoint and song. Some feelings just cannot be expressed in words, but what I want to say is that, you've been the awesomest teacher I've ever had, a friend, a listener, and cause of you, I've never regretted taking HCL no matter how horrible my chinese is. Thank you for everything, and above all, we love you. :) Thanks to those who made the party a success!

And JCTs is coming up soon. Am I going to slack through the one month study break like I have for the past two years again this time? Am I going to screw up my JCTs and get Ss and Us all subjects? I bet not this year. Not this year. Byebye Facebook and Blogger for one month until JCTs are over. See yall soon. Okay, only twitter since I don't need to on my computer to use that.

And so I guess we're okay now? Hmmm, for long I hope.

Tell me why can't you see, it's not the way

When we all fall down, it will be too late

Why is there no reason we can't change

When we all fall down, who will take the blame

What will it take

So long, its hiatus for now. :)

2010-05-20T00:10:00.009+08:00

Congratulations!

to Azri, Kaiwen, Issac and Joey as our next bowling EXCO! :) Yall' will sure be able to bring the team up up up! :) Jiayou! :)

I'm waiting

2010-05-19T01:03:00.007+08:00

If I knew if leaving was going to be this hard, maybe I should have just attended more trainings. gahh.

~~Maybe I should try for things I do not deserve. Just maybe. :/~~ yeah i know I shouldn't girl.

thank you for making everything my fault.

thank you for behaving childishly.

thank you for acknowledging that I am mad with you.

thank you for ending the sms as if I was in the wrong.

thank you for wasting the past one month of my time.

now, thank me for sparing your life and time because I shan't waste anymore time on you.

thank you.

rain rain go away

2010-05-11T18:19:00.003+08:00

Yesterday was TJ Band concert. I must say they are really quite good! They were all on beat and every player was playing their best and playing well. :) Well done TJ Band! I saw Hasia and Kaiwen and I gave her a flower. :) Tzehern was there as well! Went down with the entire (well, almost) bowling team. Bowling team & Band: NO LINK. haha. But it was really fun fun fun!

"Disappointment has a name, it's heartbreak."

When I first saw this line of song lyrics during the weekend last week, I felt that I had no reason to blog it up as i wasn't disappointed with anyone. But, who would have knew, the tuesday came, and there it happened, disappointment. Yes, you utterly disappointed me. You talk to me when you feel like it. You don't when you don't feel like. I have come to point where I seriously don't give a shit anymore. You can do whatever you want. And with - telling me the reason for your behaviour, my jaw literally dropped. Omyfreak, what the shit is wrong with you. o.o yeah good for you, isolate yourself, because I have changed and will no longer be so bothered like how I used to be so bothered, when you don't give a shit at all too. Maybe when you FEEL like talking to me again, I shouldn't even talk to you. Seriously. Omg you piss me off ttm.

Oh and thank God although we were at the same place at the same time, I managed to successfully avoid you. I seriously wouldn't have known what to say or react. Maybe just say, "Hi!"? Nah, you won't even reply smses that are related to official stuff. Oh, you suck.

2010-05-07T00:30:00.001+08:00

Hmmm. How true. Really explains a lot about some people.

And yes you, I'm talking about you.

2010-05-06T23:57:00.001+08:00

HAHAHAHA. I wonder if my PW group is like that too. :) awesomeness.

We'll take control of the world

2010-05-05T21:59:00.006+08:00

PI SUBMISSION is officially tmr! :( And mine is still not approved. Wow, how can life get any worse.

On the brighter side, today's bowling as a pacer was way way way awesome! :)) I did well, broke my average and highest score! Although seen as "lousy" for some -.- people, but I'm contented with the results given that I just started being a spinner for 3+ months! Awesome-ness. And I met some really cool people as well from ACJC. They are super pro at bowling but apparently because of some issues they aren't in the team. Wasted huh.

Tomorrow there's chem mock spa but apparently I'm not going cause of bowling nationals! Oh no, tmr is the last day of games already. I hope TJ can get fourth again! -crosses fingers-

Woah today is miss ong's last lesson with us! Time really flies past really quickly. It seems as if she had her first lesson with us just yesterday. But sadly I couldn't make it back in time for her last one. :/ I'm glad she smsed me saying she really likes the scrapbook! :)) awww, she didn't cry. hahaha. :)

Glad today you called me, but sorry i didn't pick up. And sorry I couldn't make it for the concert due to nationals. :(

"Do you remember the nights we'd stay up just laughing smiling for hours at anything?"

Not tryin' to rewind

2010-05-05T19:04:00.006+08:00

As usually being typically me, I have decided to start blogging, again. Probably some things bugging me that I need to get off my chest.

Well, from the last time I blogged till now, many many things have happened, many things have progressed on, many things have been let go. Ah, with the busy schedule, there are simply too many things I have given up on, or rather let things be the way it is and don't give a damn.

I don't know what should do with you. 나해야하는무엇이 I know that I don't have the time to spend with, or rather can't afford to. Furthermore you are being so zz about everything. You are really very nice, but ugh, don't know what to say. I just hope I will make the right decision regarding this matter.

Well done, you are pissing me off, once again. I'm sure you know the phrase, "self praise = no praise", just like how you always tell other people. -.- I don't have the time and energy to care about you anymore you know. o.o zz.

Bowling nationals are on, and apparently I am pacering tomorrow. o.o well, I hope that I do well since Mr Ng has given me a chance. Quartets are going to be interesting, and I do hope we get at least top 5, given the past days results. :/ Game on TJC Bowling! :)

Hopefully, I will blog once a week, that is if I even have the time. With tutorials undone, time isn't allocated for blogging. :/

"You can't make up your mind, please don't waste my time."

/edit

Yay PI draft 5 done. In 4 hours. -.- Ah, all those citation thingy is killing me. But it'll all be worth it. :)

/edit

2010-03-09T21:47:00.009+08:00

Today 01, was split up into 2 to join with 02. No comments about it, not here that is. Well, my PW teacher is Mr Chan, some physics teacher. Goodness, he talks like a bullet train.

Whenever I see the cornflakes I'm selling, I'll think of you guys, about something I said the day before everything crumbled. Well, I guess I can't do so anymore, although I really want to. Now that I think about it, suddenly I have a strong urge to do something about it, but I know I won't be able to change anything anymore.

Next week's outing to - is going to be challenging. I don't even know whether I should go, or whether I'll might just be throwing my face away and whether it's going to be a tough day. :/ It's a place which I hold many dear memories to, and I don't want it to be destroyed over a day. Ah, what should I do. :/

Today Duathalon was open for sign-ups. The very event that I said I'll take part again just after the race ended last year. But with so many problems/things at hand, I don't think I'll be able to take part. :/ I don't even want to ask who wants to be my runner, although there might be people who wants to take part, but ah, forget it.

It's not good that I'm getting used to this vicious cycle. I know I have to do something about it, but I can't bring myself to do anything anymore. Besides this time I don't know what went wrong. I've been asking myself so many times what went wrong, but to no avail. Memories created aren't just deleted when it feels like deleting itself. :/ there's someone I care about, there's someone I can't be bothered to care about anymore. the someone I care about, you're the only reason why I'm feeling this way.

Ah, on a lighter note, after all the emoing. Mr Gan was super hilarious during Maths lecture today. "Sequences and Series-es" The TA3s kept laughing throughout thinking about all the funny stuff that happened in the last two years. Wedding, lessons, red ink, etc. lol. Yeah, this is about the only thing that can cheer me up today. yeah.

Sometimes I wonder is it because it is happening too often, you'll think that it's okay to ignore it and that something will be done at the end? I don't know I really don't know.

/edit

I just remembered that - asked me about us today. I realised that it's not the external people destroying our friendship, it's destroyed internally. She didn't even do anything like what we were afraid she would, in the end it's ourselves, internally.

You are the only exception and I miss everything about you.

not going to do it solo

2010-03-03T20:49:00.003+08:00

"I don't want to walk this earth, if I gotta do it solo."

Lectures were boring as usual o.o but after drinking mocha during break, I felt much better. :) I guess I should start doing that nowadays. :D

Today was a historical day, because I've learnt not to care about all your nonsense anymore. :) Because if friendships were like that, my enemies would be my best friends. All the cards, notes and letters, so I see this is how it turns out? :/ But I'll stay on the brighter side and think positively, but I shan't elaborate.

My mom is finally back from the hospital! Was supposed to be discharged on weds last week, but doctor said her wound a bit infected, need to stay back for further inspection. FINALLY she's back. At least she's doing well now, although sitting up and walking is still a big problem. I have to pull her off the bed using my entire body strength okay. :X God please bless her with a speedy recovery! :)

Today something magical happened in my life. Thanks for accepting me into the -. :) although I know you know we both felt weird, but we still -. It was simply an amazing feeling. Thanks so much yeah? (thank God you don't read blogs :P)

Touch the sky

2010-03-02T19:51:00.002+08:00

Hey.

Today's the second day of my mazarin sale of cookies. Sales been not bad so far thanks to many awesome people. Many thanks to every person who bought our cookies/cornflakes!

Today's been full of ups and downs. I don't know what you are thinking anymore either. Just like I was talking to someone the other day, I realise I don't tell you as much stuff as I used to do anymore. :/ but it's only been a mere 2 months. This is quite upsetting but I'm afraid what I was afraid will happen has happened. Well, I can only wait and see how it goes. :/

Got econs test back today. Well, did okay I guess. :) I still can't believe 01/10's new econs teacher thought my christian name was "Econs" when she saw "(Econs)" beside my name. -.- I'm the econs rep that's why the word was there. o.o what the heck. Goodness, she's going to take us till may. ohmygawd. 01's gonna fail JCTs. o.o crap.

*** Reminder to self: Bring jacket tomorrow to school.

Hit me like a ray of sun
Burning through my darkness night
You're the only one that I want
You got addicted to your lie
I swore I'd never fall again
But this don't even feel like falling
Gravity camed again
To pull me back to the ground again

2010

2010-02-26T19:44:00.002+08:00

I don't know what's the exact reason that's making me blog, but yeah here I am again.

But then, now it'll only be periodically blogging, like valencia. I won't be blogging just because I have to keep a daily record already. I'm getting tired of that.

Oh well, it's the first post of 2010 and I'm looking forward to it. And well, i'm in 01/10, a pretty class number. But the people are scary, with like the top 15 in my class. :/ guess i need to work harder. In this new year, I guess many things have changed, people, environment, good stuff basically. Best of all, I've learnt to let you go. That's like the most awesome thing that could happen.

Mazarin's been a big part of my January and February. Handed up my Tri Touch Report yesterday. Finally got rid of it! :D yay. Tutorials and the new lecture system sucks. It's so routined, I'm getting sick of it. :/ New people, ie the jc1s, are kinda.. yeah. okay shan't talk about them.

I'm not going to publicise that i'm blogging again. I don't see the need for it. :)

hi my friend that's here, thanks for visiting my blog that's been dead for so long.

BYE BLOG!

2009-12-20T23:09:00.008+08:00

okay due to certain reasons i'm closing my blog.

thought through really carefully before making my decision.

hahah i don't think that many people read my blog anyway, so yeah. don't really matter. :D

bye blog!

on a last note: i'm only going to have i think about 7 days before i leave for tianjin after i come back from korea! i need to enjoy the sun!

oh and to someone: some things are better late than never. at least i know now. (: and why are you always the one dictating who's right and who's wrong? what about yourself? i'm not angry or whatever, because i understand where you're coming from and understand that you still care as a friend. (:

this blog will be automatically deleted in 1 day

mad world

2009-12-20T00:12:00.003+08:00

I don't know you anymore, neither do you know me. What's become of us? What's with all the nonsense you've been preaching for the last 16 years to me? All has turned into dust, and all has transformed into nothing. All the tall talk about saving money, please just shut up.

well, besides what ever happened today, I just came back from AMAZING(race)! And somehow the games were kinda screwed cause of the rain on the second day. ugh, but overall was okay, the commitee knew it was kinda failed, but the campers felt that it was all okay and very meaningful. I felt that the praise and worship was very awesome and i felt the presence of God lingering in the Soundbox. Being in the camp committee for the first time, I gave more than I received. It was a totally different from past experiences as this time, I prayed for other campers, whereas in previous camps, the older people prayed for me. This camp, i would say, was very successful by the grace of God. I was kinda sad I did not invite anyone for ONE REASON event, but i was glad to see people going up during the altar call. Seeing people being saved by the grace of God really makes me feel that all the committee have done is very worthwhile. I don't mind going all the trouble to hold one event just to save one person's soul. The peace and comfort that Christ brings to each and everyone of us is really indescribable. Feel it to believe it. :)

I met lots of new people during the camp which i felt was so awesome, because i realised that the world doesn't only consist of TJC and family, and that there are many awesome people out there as well. Not only people who are so political and care about their own interests. :)

One more thing learnt, you're just a small tree in a big forest. :)

Was watching autumn concerto when I saw this sentence:

Some people prefer to live in a world of denial in order to feel happy and secure.

How true is that! :/

oh yes, thank you JOLENE for the lovely xmas card! You probably won't read this but: I can't believe you still remember someone like me who has been out of your life for the past 2 years! i really appreciate you as a friend and whatever you did for me in the past in shss. you are a really awesome friend! You're my good-est friend ever. No one can replace you, seriously. You're the goodest cause, my best friend is Jesus Christ! :D I love you Jolene! Merry X'mas!

AMAZING(RACE)!

2009-12-14T22:11:00.003+08:00

ohohoh tomorrow's AMAZING(RACE)! yay!

been very busy today. was up and awake in the early of the morning already, had a final meeting with the comm. then after that went back to school to meet my mazarin group, but was kicked out of the school a while later. hahaha.

i was supposed to collect my specs like last weds/thurs but apparently the woman still haven't call me, and now i have to go church camp with my old and all so scratched specs. -.- crap.

anyway, this week's been really busy, no time to blog. :/ loads of stuff to complete. -.- argh.

my homework isn't really done. mostly undone. this is very bad.

2009-12-09T21:45:00.002+08:00

hey guys, i've set up a lyrics pictography site! do support! :D

http://missflyaway.tumblr.com/

to like the pictures, create a tumblr account!

you're automatic

2009-12-09T18:34:00.003+08:00

just came back from logistics shopping for church camp with daniel.

bought like millions of things:

x2000 plastic bags for water bombs
x600 straws
x300 marshmallows
x5 plastic bowls
etc

we haven't even bought everything yet, some already got by shannon and the rest.

where do i get lightsticks and face paint man. -.-

it was simply madness carrying everything back to my house. o.o i can't imagine the day for camp and i have to lug everything myself back to church.

went back to school in the morning to hand up my visa application + money for tianjin. and i realised i didn't bring my passport photo -.- then i had to go opposite to print. after that went for lunch with kaiwen and yingling at some foodfare thing. yeah, one day ntuc's gonna dominate singapore. :/ after that did some shopping with yingling for someone's birthday present. quite happy with what we got.

okay now gotta concentrate and finish my translation job. :/ sianz.

training tmrw! i think i'll be going.

kinda tired need to sleep early tonight though.

standchart!

2009-12-07T20:48:00.002+08:00

standard chartered is finally over! it wasn't easy during the 4am/5am period and it was where i dozed off a couple of times. my role was to direct people to the start point, and guess where i was stationed at: the esplanade carpark 0.0 horrible. it was humid and hot and there was practically no ventilation. all we survived on was remnants of air con from the esplanade's doors. -.- how horrible is that man.

but one thing's for sure, it really was a test of my endurance and patience. i was really tired that day as i went out shopping for winter stuff with my parents that day i didn't catch a wink before i left to meet at 12am. at times when kaiwen and i were bored, we had some nice talks, if not we'll be prancing around, no, actually i, would be prancing around dancing mass dance or singing christmas songs. hahah hilarious, but was trying to influence kaiwen to be super high, kinda phailed though. hahaha.

we're were awesome volunteers! we kept saying, "Hi! Welcome to StandChart!" for like probably 300+ times throughout the night till i think 8am. the rest of the volunteers were just slacking. hahah. they sat on the ground against the pillar and looked like a zombie. hahaha. was quite pissifying at times, but then was proud of kaiwen and myself that we didn't follow them, and did things we weren't required to do.

okay enough about standard chartered. my fever's like 38 o.o still after a night. heatiness is my enemy.

yay tianjin! we're going to beijing! how cool is that! 故宫, etc etc! woootttss. :D i'm so excited.

abracadabra

2009-12-05T01:26:00.003+08:00

today was AMAZING(race) games trial! It was simply awesome. Got to know many people much better, like Greg, Vinnie, Serena, Wibur, Lewis, and my entire games comm peeps!

No photos can be posted though as we don't want to spoil any of the fun, just in case any people going camp is reading this.

basically today i travelled the entire singapore with the rest of the awesome people. i seriously can't wait for camp yknow! It's gonna be so much fun being a part of GAMES COMM!

Conducting and facilitating the night walk is gonna be so different from being a participant all the time. Anyway just wanted to say that a lot of hard work has been put in from all the camp comm and i hope all the campers will enjoy themselves!

Camp's in 10 days and my sister has packed. o.o

Am really glad i'm part of all these action. I will most probably will be confirming myself joining the Speedlight Exco thingy. :D working with awesome people really doesn't make me mind putting the extra effort!

starstrukk

2009-12-03T18:34:00.010+08:00

yay standard chartered's the day after tomorrow! :D yippees! kinda excited about it!

the past few days' been crazyyyy. super busy! but super exciting! more details are on kaiwen's blog! loved the barbecue/stayover.

loved the lunch at gls' house. oh the white choc ice cream glen made was super nice. i didn't even know there was such a flavour. that's my and all the people he didn't give birthday present to, our birthday present! we should have a movie marathon some time. it's super fun! at my house! that'll be great man! anyone interested? :D

anyway, life's been super up and down for me these few days. really excited to go tianjin, one month without my suppressers would be really awesome. furthermore with awesome-r people, life's gonna be real exciting. (:

oh and thanks shauna for her US bought - crabtree and evelyn body spray! it's super nice.

today's been boring. :/ sians.

/edit

don't talk to me only when you need me.
your inobviously obvious actions are pissing me off.
i'm not that dumb. -.-

friends don't only talk whenever they feel like talking to them

if i had a "I don't want you in my life" list, there's gonna be a new member added to it.

some people may have told you you're the reason i dread going on sundays nowadays. well, sometimes you are the reason i don't wanna go, sometimes you are the reason i want to go. glad we've cleared the air. :) love you still. anyway you should seriously tag at least once on my blog yknow, pok

found out some stuff today. contradicting stuff. hm.

got games trial in the morning till evening. should be fun! :D

/edit

mindcafe outing 09.

2009-11-30T20:31:00.003+08:00

Today went to one of my favourite places - mindcafe, with kaiwen, miah and yingling. we seriously had a whale of a time there. playing ticket to ride with yingling and hairy was seriously not fun cos they were not strategic at all, and were points conscious! and in the end, i think kaiwen and i lost. -.- hahah.

after we played this words game where we couldn't say what cards we had on our heads. and yingling totally lost during the actions words part. hahha. it was hilarious.

oh then we played jurassic something. was super funny cos yingling was super lag and she lost all rounds. :D

then we played taboo for our last game. was really really really amusing till i almost died of laughter. there was this part where miah and kaiwen were the people making us guess the word, then they were so 有默契. the word was floss, so they said "candy?" together, and then "candy?" together for the second time at the same time again. ahhahha. yingling and i laughed like siao. hahhahahahaha.

okay thats about it. :D

the love beyond hate

2009-11-27T22:56:00.007+08:00

there are just some things i don't quite get about my family.

why is it that we have no peace everyday, and the house is filled with fear and anxiety?

why is it that my brother, sister and i have to be scolded every single day for things that can be said to us nicely?

why it that my parents don't understand that we are still children and that mistakes are inevitable?

why is it that at my age, i'm still getting beaten by my father?

do we actually deserve such harsh punishment?

why is it that their mentality is not of the 21st century's?

why is it that we get so much scolding and yet none of us does well in anything we do?

why is it that my childhood has been scarred with unhappy memories and none happy ones?

why is it that my mom refuses to let go and just move on?

why is it that my father gives me so much fear within me?

why is it that although this fear has been here for the past 16 years, i just can't get used to it?

why is it that my mom, my sis, my bro, and my grandmother cannot live on our own like last time, but instead with a beast?

why is that i am born in such a family with such parents?

After scolding us like we’re some dogs, he can just go back to his room and laugh while watching tv almost immediately, but doesn’t he realize how much he’s affected us?
my love for him is beyond the word 'hate'.

SLC

2009-11-25T20:56:00.002+08:00

just saw a picture from jianle's blog

SLC GROUP 20 FACILS FTW! :D

and decided to kope it cos jasper's position is simply damn funny. ahahhaa. and of course for memories sake. :D SLC ROCKS.

life on the line

2009-11-25T17:44:00.005+08:00

I'M BACK! :D

vietnam trip was awesome! not as awesome as i thought it would be but the people were awesome! :D the hotels were simply awesome! bunking with valencia was ahahhaha cause she's naggy ahahha. before we left for vietnam her mom was like "you must wake up ah! otherwise you two will late together." kelly, huanying, sheila, jeremiah, valencia and i hanged out a lot during the trip. and i got to know the rest of the girls in the cohord better and talked to them during the trip. they were kinda noisy throughout the trip but it's okay lah. they were funny.

esp the last day on the way to the airport where shaojie ate 43+++ oranges at one go. o.o all of us started comparing what special things our body could do. like bend our fingers to our arm, admiring gracia's cute stubby thumb, etc etc. we spent most of the trip on the bus, listening to my ipod and crapping with valencia. sometimes with hasia amira and anna too. anna kept falling down during the trip and she spent 60000 dong (6 sing dollars) on 6 bananas which was epic lah seriously.

more photos up on fb.

the train ride was awesome with valencia's funny sleeping positions. and huanying forever combing her hair till that if anyone dies there she'll be the first suspect. :O

the trip did not have much shopping that we were so desperate at the airport trying to spend our money as well as getting souviniers for the people in singapore.

US peeps coming back tmrw! i miss shauna very much! :/

if the vietnam trip has taught me anything, it would be that life is ____ ______ _______ ___ and that i don't need you as much as i thought i did. this trip has been an eye opener to what the rest can bring for me. gosh, i should have been smarter than this.

2009-11-16T23:27:00.002+08:00

Recently on facebook i just randomly entered a contest for a movie i didn't know what was about, and apparently:

I won.

only to realise the genre of CASE 39 is horror/thriller. o.0

hence and therefore i am not going to watch it. anyone wants the tickets? I don't mind giving them out. ahahhaha.

lead like you're a leader

2009-11-15T23:44:00.005+08:00

I'M BACK FROM MAZARIN CAMP!

it was the awesomest leadership experience in my entire life. all people there were leaders from different walks of tjc. Working with them was really awesome because they were very sensible and were very open to comments that people gave them and could change their flaws within a day.

We played numerous competition games to win points. My favourite was ~~BALLOON FRANTIC~~ FRANTIC BALLOONS! My group won as first for this activity ahahha. We were really happy cos we lost the first on like crap and totally got 0 points which kinda demoralized our group. :( but we also won the tug of war game. ahahha.

then i became the leader for the high elements game on the 2nd day. my stupid shoe caused me not to be able to balance on the log for the first time in my life. I felt so dejected. cos my shoe was so big my body weight was shifted in front hence i couldnt balance properly.

but i think my group was freaking awesome because we worked together very well! :D gwenda was in my group, thankfully. and had a fun time crapping with her the whole day. ahahha. 你石头！

oh i apparently became the leader of my project group although i don't know why. ahahhaa. now my group keep calling me "sec 4 leader" cause i'm younger than them. ahhaha. :D coolios. garrick was like "give her a chance!" ahahha. lol man.

just came back from dinner with guanhong's group + my group. we were supposed to discuss our project but apparently we didn't ahhaha. too much fun camwhoring. :D

this is my awesome group + angeline. the whole team wasn't there except angeline.

Team 5 / Group 10 rocks to the apple core.

Group 10: garrick, selvie, detian, valerie, gwenda, wenge, duanrui and jiaxin!

Team 5: Group 10 + aaron, zhenghao, angeline, yuenling, kahqi, lidong, we seriously rock rock rock rock! :D love you guys!

ohoh and something freaking funny: The girls during lunch were talking about not being able to shit in unfamiliar places and lidong happened to be eating a drumstick and hence was disgusted with us. ahahhahaha. And during the last part we had to give each other gems to acknowledge something of the other person, then lidong came up to me and said, "this is a brown gem, i hope you shit better next time." freaking lol can! i almost fainted.

i overall learnt a lot of things through the interview simulation game etc etc. i felt that this camp was really awesome.

i'm too lazy to post the details cos i'm freaking tired and i need to sleep already. OH SLC's tmrw. okay needa go have my beauty sleep to face secondary school students and people older than me. ahahha.

"it's about winning, yet it isn't about winning."

2009-11-15T00:00:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

CHEANG-Y KAI WEN-Y! :D

i love you much much much! happy 16th birthday pok-head! thanks for being such an awesome friend this two years i've known you! :D hope you like the presents we are going to give you! (: this post can't express what i want to say, only my heart can. :D love you! (L)

(this post was automatically generated)

already gone.

2009-11-12T19:25:00.010+08:00

oh man tmrw's mazarin camp. don't know to be happy or sad but will make the best out of it i guess. :/ confirm my group many unknown people. o.o never mind. still got high elements somemore. -.- suckiness. i am only regretting it now. i haven't even started packing okay. -.-

last night half the cohord went to send the US people off. it was really heart wrenching as each second passed by knowing that they would be leaving for 16 days. :/ i was asked really weird questions, actually not questions, but question. oh well.

saw this from http://www.bakerella.com/

so chio okay! i want this for my 17th birthday. oh gosh i'm getting old.

ohoh and:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET 16TH

KELLY CHEW TING WEI! :D

hope you liked my present! (: i think that it suits you. have a happy marriage life and i want to be your child's godma okay! love you!

the sadness couldn't be explained in words. although i knew it wasn't permanent, i felt really scared for a moment. at least you comforted me with a few words and i could feel it in your eyes something was different this time. i don't expect much anymore, as long as i can be there, i'm contented. i want this time to be different. it must.

Sometimes we fall down and can't get back up
we're hiding behind skin that's too tough
how come we don't say I love you enough
till it's too late, it's not too late

kaiwen: yepps i have changed it :D

2009-11-10T23:31:00.006+08:00

I just ate macs ytd and i have got 8 game labels and so i have suddenly have in interest in the game but i just went online to see which labels are the rare ones and realized that according to websites like http://livinginsingaporetoday.com/6784/mcdonalds-monopoly-singapore-game-promotion/comment-page-3/, they say that the odds of winning a big prize is the same as the odds of playing toto/4D.

"There are 8.67 million game label (thats 8.67m set of “extra” value meal). Average price of S$5 per meal give you $43.35million of earnings and they are giving only one $50,000 prize plus other small prizes?"

and hence i am not playing the game any more. and they only release the rare game pieces near the end of the game, therefore do not start playing first. :D

today i had class outing at swensens! thank you miss bian for treating us! we really appreciate it!

had to leave quite early as had to rush home for dinner. :/ and it was something i regret doing. but accomplished something, that is to tell my dad about my tianjing trip. :D and yay i did. he is prepared to come up with 1.5k etc. :) yay thats the only thing i am happy about today.

and tmrw is Kelly's birthday party! so exciting! yay! :DDDD but at 3pm i have some SLC meeting and hence have to rush off. :/ sad man. i have a busy Nov and cannot attend so many church games comm. meeting which makes me feel bad. this friday have Mazarin camp till Sun, and then monday to tues have SLC. and monday have kaiwen's birthday barbeque! :D yay exciting weeks ahead. and after that say hello to vietnam! whoots! (:

can't believe what you asked me today, was shocked and was something I would usually do. am i just living in a dream or is this finally real. but disappointed myself due to unforseen circumstances. of all times. hmph. ugh.

rants.

2009-11-08T23:34:00.002+08:00

oh yay someone congratulate me that my first and last o level paper of my entire life is in two days time and all i do is watch tv, play computer and go out. naise. my lifestyle is perfectly awesome.

needa go school tmr to hand up my passport to mrs koh and till now im still having issues with the 1500 bucks. my mom is refusing to pay, don't even mention my dad. I really don't understand why sometimes it is so hard to get money from them when it comes to overseas trips. I understand that it is not a small amount but it is not like our family is hard up or anything and besides I go there for 4 weeks not 6 days. I really hate being pushed around like a ball when it comes to money issues. I mean, it's really hard for me you know. How would you parents even understand the heartpain of not being able to choose what I want for the WOW attachment. Do you even think i want to go to 天京 that badly, i don't have a choice okay. Yeah I have choice like you said. Okay join what you tell me lah? A*? The zoo thing which only has 4 places? Or the museum thing which i am totally no interest in? Sometimes I really feel horrible when my friends are all caught up with "Should I choose 天京 or something else that is more interesting." with no money issues caught up in between. I always have to consider the money first, not whether I enjoy it or not. Everything i do i think about the money first then who is ever going to think about me. :/ not that I am angry but seriously times have changed and going overseas is quite a norm in schools already. -.- but i don't care that much this time already. I am going for sure. anyway the europe money will be my 挡箭牌. oh and the worst part is you idiots don't even ever ask me about safety issues whether I will freeze of coldness or that 4 weeks is a long time and that you guys will miss me. All you guys ever consider is the $$$$$$$$.

sorry for that long post. wait till i talk about tuition. -.-

2009-11-08T01:27:00.000+08:00

this is too retarded to be true.

lovin' you

2009-11-07T18:29:00.005+08:00

last night i attended my cousin's wedding. the bride was pretty, my cousin was handsome. but don't know why when i saw them getting married i thought of divorce. it's not a good thought but i couldn't help it. :/

oh wells, o's in two days. and im not exactly very prepared given that my compre is ultimately sucky and my 报章报道 is very disgusting as well. and doing anything now doesn't seem to work anymore. hence and therefore, i'm just gonna watch tv the whole day and slack and just leave the rest to God. :) He'll be good to me.

i'm really tired now. going for dinner and prolly meeting greena at mac's to find her cute guy. o.o ahahha.

update later.

jiaxin(:

it's been 72 hours.

you're my wonderwall

2009-11-06T00:19:00.003+08:00

oh yay.

i have just confirmed my tianjing trip with my mom. since she has signed it i guess she saw the 1.5k part. :/ if she didnt too bad. cannot change mind already. :D

okay today was another horrible day where i have lost my voice. my cramps in the morning were so painful i almost died and i couldnt walk so my mom said stay at home. :/ i felt a little better in the afternoon. i slept literally the whole day.

oh tmr's my eldest cousin's wedding. and i still don't know what to wear. no mood to go think about it anyway. my stomach and my back is hurting like shiat. 0.0 this sucks.

i don't want things to change just because of this 24 hours i didn't see you.

jiaxin(:

RING DING DONG

2009-11-03T22:24:00.005+08:00

wow finally finished my header for the lep noticeboard! :D nice? i did the old 2c/08 noticeboard style. hope gls likes it and will not ask me to redo. (:

today we had maths trail. and my question was: "find the height of the coconut tree." -.- but was quite slack i guess, since val, yl, miah, anna, hasia and avril and i were like having a picnic with drinks and crackers and stuff. ahahha. was quite fun lah. jianle was seriously :O she sat on the swing for almost an hour. had fun with mr lau's pro pro kameila. i really want to get one too. so pro okay. i really love that camera. :D

i cant believe im in slc as a facilitator or something. my holidays are packed up like shiattt. 0.0 nevermind. you can do it jiaxin!

heard from gls today that tianjing is really cold T.T im really scared now. and the bathing toilets have no wall between each toilet o.o woah this is bad. but whatever i want to go still. i will bring two luggages of clothes and come back with 5 luggages of shopping. :DDD

okay tmr is the last day of translation! yay yay yay. im so happy. :D

edit/

on a second note:

THANK YOU GAO LAO SHI FOR THE AWESOME MOS BURGER DINNER!

you seriously are an awesome teacher! :D see! we didnt exceed your budget! (: we rock okay! thank you for the car ride home also! loves you much! :D

/edit

jiaxin(:

2009-11-01T16:17:00.004+08:00

you knew exactly what i felt, yet you still did it. what kind of a friend are you? im really annoyed this time. for real. no kidding. you better not be in the same class as me. i swear ill rather make friends with the JC1s than continue with you. what on earth are you man seriously. i'm pissed with you i confirm with you. you are seriously a piece of shit.

/edit

omgosh i just came back from the hair salon and i swear my hair is screwed. oh shucks. die die die die die. from now till o levels until the day i re cut my hair, pretend you don't see a difference in my hair.

thank you.

/edit

Love Like This (L)

2009-10-31T23:17:00.005+08:00

OH MY TIAN LOVE LIKE THIS IS LIKE THE AWESOMEST SONG YOU'LL EVER HEAR OKAY. :D

(L)X100

i love you SS501 esp KIM HYUN JOONG! (L)

anyways,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY VALENCIA WU-KIM-SU!

yoz sister-in-law! thanks for always being there whenever I need you, whenever no one's there for me to speak to. :D you're an awesome friend/sis-in-law. hope you be with your husband(s) forever! :) and also, we'll have an awesome time at vietnam! and don't forget the shutters! awesome stuff much.

i really enjoyed today! nevermind it raining, we spent more time together that way! playing the rain was fun. tennis and badminton was hilarious with kelly playing tennis and sheilala mopping the floor. greena who was scared of rain was playing tennis under the rain. :) then came basketball, stupid miah kept stealing the ball from me. hmph. :/ the cake was awesome, so was the food. but mrs wu ah, you seriously stuffed all of us like mad. now i can't eat my sister's cake as well as spaghetti. ahahaha.

i rushed home for my sis' birthday just to realise that it's over. ): i shouldn't even have gone home so early okay seriously. my mom knows im pissed. and so does my sis. is my effort and money worth it even for my sister? :/ urgh whatever. i won't say what i want to say now.

ohmygosh today i realised something shocking about you. didn't know you were like that in secondary sch until talking to some people. :/ don't know to be disappointed or to be happy. and to know what you did in the past (this year) although made me really sad, but i'm gonna tell myself that it's the past and everything is already over, so i'll look forward to the future and make the best of it. :D watch and see. actually realised another thing about through today as well. you're different and im glad you're like so. :D not like some average idiot.

i don't think ill update that much anymore. no motivation to do so anymore.

jiaxin(:

2009-10-23T19:25:00.007+08:00

i guess what was written on all cards and notes and whatever nonsense were just there because there was a card/note and you wrote it.

in case you didn't know, i was there. i just purposely clicked the button to test you. and you fell for it. thanks now i see the truth.

seriously i don't know what i have done to deserve such treatment. -.-

---

well, i went to the hospital today. and again, my tonsil is infected/swollen. and guess what this is the exact reason why i can't eat too much sweet stuff. :/ my body is failing me. anyway who cares. doesn't matter to anyone.

please you what? you _______ people? please. -.- more like you provide the cause for the need of __________.

say it again for me.

2009-10-22T20:26:00.003+08:00

Woooohhhh. I went cable skiing today with yingling, dory, jiamin, brandon, corny, joel, wenkai, david, haiquan and some other jc1s. ahahha lol. it was really fun and everything. but im so worn out now, i cant move.

3 tips to Cable Skiing

1. Cable Skiing in a pair is more fun than doing alone

At first i kneeboarded myself, but in the last hour, yingling and i skiied together! it was much more fun and exciting. :D i actually was bored of skiing after falling and falling due to the sharp turns i had to make, but when i realised that we could do together, it was aweeessssooommmmeeee. (L)

2. When given three options of cable skiing, always choose the knee boarding one

the others are crap lah. -.- havent even travel like 2 metres and down in the water you go. hahaha. knee boarding made some people travel the whole lagoon. but sadly most of us didnt. :/

3. Wakeboarding/kneeboarding/water skiing is not as easy as it looks

this is the most important point. seeing all those pro angmohs skiing looked very easy, but when you are on the water it is seriously very different can. -.- falling is such a normal thing. i guess they really practice alot and they are filthy rich cos 1 hour is like $60 at the normal rate. and their own boards cost them like 500-1000 dollars. -.- woah.

after cable skiing, dory, yingling and i went back to school to cheer the night cycling as well as the titans people on! jianle seriously looked very very fit. :O and then we took some pe teacher's camera and started taking photos. and willaye wang, i swear i wont forgive you for what you did just now lo! make me so embarrassed. -.- you better 赔罪 somehow. oh and i learnt a new word today: pissifying :D

and to all the night cycling people,

jiayoujiayoujiayou! the journey may be tough but we'll all be here to cheer you on! (: see you guys tmr morning. :D

cause' you're hot and you're cold, but I don't really give a damn anymore.

boomz.

2009-10-19T22:40:00.007+08:00

hello world.

i dont know why i find it so hard to maintain a blog.

today yingling (crazy person) and i went to kaiwen's house to bake COOKIES. okay fine, my recipe failed. wasn't the type of biscuits they were expecting. oh but the end result was nice. :D very nice. thank you auntie gem! :D today was really very fun with kaiwen's a-bit-siao-dogs, and yingling's non stop mouth.

went to queenstown after that and ate wonderful laksa. (: super super duper delicious. as good as katong laksa. i saw this awesome pair of converse shoes:

i almost bought it but i did not as my mom confirm plus chop nag at me. :/ *sobs*

oh crap and tmr is the start of our translation course. sianess like totally.

reminder to bring:

1. jacket

2. food and more food

3. tie and uniform and badge

4. pencil case

Things to be excited about:

1. Sleepover :D

yay the sleepover's tmr. so exciting isnt it! hahaha. okay kaiwen's house is seriously becoming my second house although its half the world away.

2. Movie at Shaw

yayness tmr is the movie at Shaw with some awesssommmme people! :D

Things not to be excited about:

1. Translation course. -.-

yingling it'll be over soon. let's countdown tmr. :D boring lahhh. sians what kind of lame course is this. :/

2. GLS' black face.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DON'T AP. ill try my best not to fall asleep during her oh-so-interesting lessons. :O

/edit

have to wear slippers to school tmr. my toe is bandaged and hurts like crap if anyone touches it. if someone steps on it tmr im gonna scream :O

and keith, why confusing? :I

/edit

you're my wonderwall

2009-10-17T01:57:00.002+08:00

i dont feel like posting anything today.

although exams have officially ended. i dont feel the same way.

went to the doctor's just now. paid like 41 bucks for one mc. -.- waste money man. argh today was screwed up. like seriously. omg, nothing can console me. seriously im screwed.

shall post tmr after ive calmed down.

shake the glitter

2009-10-15T19:16:00.001+08:00

life's screwed.

promos' screwed.

i'm screwed.

---

/edit

goodbye sleep. im not going to sleep tonight. clit's not even halfway done at 1.15 in the morning. dont even talk about physics. gls' sms stressed me out suddenly although i was touched she did. but she reminded me that i need to do well for the last clit paper of my entire life. now im going finish studying. and tmr im going to be a living zombie.

im going home after the papers tmr. i dont want to go out. i want to take cab home and sleep.

tmr's ministry appreciation dinner. probably the only thing im looking forward too.

/edit

sugar, we're going down

2009-10-13T17:51:00.000+08:00

oh my tian.

the la paper was seriously a killer. omg omg. im not only gonna fail math, my la too. oh well, these are my weaker subjects. oh i realise i dont exactly have any strong subjects. -.-

2 down 5 to go! :D jiayou jiaxin.

and jiayou everyone else!

oh shit tmr is chinese and chem. this is so sucky.

thanks yingling for your machine stops! im sorry about waking up late today! (:

okay maybe update later. ;D

---

/edit

i just came back from macs. was studying with greena. thanks for being such an awesome study buddy! (: tired and not done with chinese or chem. failure here i come. this is really super sucky. oh well, let me face this battle alone. and get low marks alone. argh whatever i dont know what i am saying.

oh and kaiwen, the yiruma thing's awesome. (:

/edit

don't pretend you ever forget about me.

never let you go.

2009-10-12T20:49:00.001+08:00

today is the first day of exam where i nicely screwed up the paper. the first part was okay but the vectors and the circle properties was screwed up cos of my some careless mistakes.

it was weird with glen chua sitting on my right finishing the paper at 3.50pm -.- which made me freaking stressed thinking i was too slow.

i dont know why i created this blog one day before the promos started. guess i wanted to have a place to type out my feelings and everything.

my ipod shuffle arrived today, it looks something like this:

I seriously agree with everyone who says that i buy things on impulse. now i have two ipods. which one should i use? :/ but anyway the green's awesome and keith tong cannot touch my ipod now already since there is no ttr :D bye keith.

I WANT TO BE A PLURK LAYOUT DESIGNER!

After promos, i will start designing samples and send them to plurklayouts.com, so watch out for that. ;D

kaiwen you are gonna be disappointed:

This saturday there is no cip. cos its deepavali. :/ saded i can't see the ahmas. its been 2 weeks since i saw them. kinda miss their purity and everything and the way they treasure everything around them.

Oh, everyone's changing and I don't feel the same. We're watching you. There are just some people we have to forget

my wish for you.

2009-10-12T00:52:00.001+08:00

But more than anything, more than anything,

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,

Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,

You never need to carry more than you can hold,

And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,

I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,

Yeah, this, is my wish.

I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,

All the ones who love you, in the place you left,

I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,

And you help somebody every chance you get,

Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,

And you always give more than you take.